Gavin Newsom’s Victory Happy Hour!

The website was created in the aftermath of the mayor’s City Hall Sex Scandal in an effort to elicit more responsible leadership and a more conservative approach to long-time chronic homelessness and homicides growing exponentially.

Since that time, the mayor has acknowledged his apathy and revitalized his policy to include competitive pay for police, community courts, and swept our parks to quell TB, AIDs & Malaria.

Like Michael Moore, Gavin Newsom Sucks.com has flip-flopped its position and is hosting a Re-election Happy Hour at Balboa Café in his Honor’s honor.

Here’s to honor. Getting on her and staying on her!

• Balboa Café/Plumpjack


• 3199 Fillmore Street (at Greenwich)


• San Francisco, CA 94123


• Thursday, August 16th

We were not surprised to learn the Regressive Convention, although the biggest assembly of limp wrist salad-eaters since the Nixon era, produced zero candidates. Bleeding-panty politics-as-usual suspects like Chris Daly, Ross Mirkarimi, and Matt Gonzalez took a peek at Gavin’s 78% approval ratings showing and quickly folded before the flop.

With nothing but static to the Left of the radio dial and all smiles on the Right (except Tony “The Tiger” Hall), Gavin is just four years away from a bigger office with a constituency far outside the City, not to mention far more conservative and far less forgiving.

In other words, we can finally tackle the Quality-of-Life problems that have long plagued San Francisco draining our City of tourism, taxes and good times!

Here's to keeping the Hippies and Hypocrites in their vegitative state. The Vegans are finally food's food. Reactionaries Unite!

Thank God! My ‘soul’ goal is clean, safe streets. I’ve got some good ideas. Do you? If so, bring ‘em with and we’ll tip some Plumpjack.