Thursday, May 31, 2007

Just One Hit & The SF Party Party’s Over

I agree with SF Party Party’s assertion, “Newsom’s cops are targeting bicyclists.”

To which, I say great! Everyone is responsible for observing the law regardless of operating a bicycle or an automobile. And (Sanctimoniously) I’ll add, It USUALLY takes two to make an accident, but it’s ALWAYS one person’s fault. So, the cop’s are simply extending the message, DON’T let it be you, to bicyclists.

Yet, to SF Party Party’s point, enforcing bicycle laws should not come at the expense of ticketing motorists. I HEAR YOU, but the fact is accidents are not much better for surviving motorist as they are bad for dead bicyclists, so it’s welcome news to learn all parties are held accountable. Don’t get me wrong… I am, not a big fan of Gavin Newsom and would love to see homicides drop too, but not at a cost of traffic patrol. Cops are essential!

Remember, wear a helmet - an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of gray matter. Yet, don’t forget what really matters – your ass!

  • Don’t: Let the little brain make decisions for the big brain
  • Do: Let the big brain for the little brain.
  • That’s right. No topic concerns me more than saddle (dis)comfort: Numb genitals, burning pain in your crotch, bruised buttocks, saddle sores and raw, inflamed skin and erectile dysfunction and impotence. No single issue has been so grossly ignored by the Newsom administration as the need for a public service announcement to raise bicycle shorts awareness.

    Wednesday, May 30, 2007

    Night Of The Living Homeless

    This of one of the best South Park episodes edited down to 90 Seconds that certaily its HOME and surely inspired by Venice Beach and San Francisco.

    Reviewed by Adam Finley

    Baked Chicken, Herbs & Bitter Greens

    A new proposition on the ballot for the next election could cook Gavin’s goose. Supervisor Chris Daly, who conceived of Proposition I, introduced a charter amendment May 22 that would end up on the November ballot if it receives six votes from members of the board.

    In the aftermath of the vote, members of the Board of Supervisors feuded with Gavin Newsom over how to implement Proposition I. The board said they were following the will of the voters (
    56%) by adopting a policy that sets aside a portion of every third regularly scheduled meeting of each month for a question-and-answer time with Newsom. To date, Newsom has declined to attend any of the meetings. Rather, he offered up monthly town hall-style meetings focused on specific issues and held in city neighborhoods. The first such Fake Question Time meeting took place in January.

    Daly said given Newsom’s “recalcitrance” about showing up at the board for
    question time, “there’s good reason to move forward with it.”
    This time voters could pluck Gavin’s Fake & Bake tactics for good, obliging San Francisco's mayor to be legally required to attend monthly board meetings. Question Time could become a staple of The City’s dinner repertoire. Bake four hours, twenty minutes. Vary the herbs as you like, but stick to the hardy ones -- thyme, rosemary, sage, and Chris Daly’s special blend oregano. Serve with a green party salad dressed simply with a little of the rendered fat whisked into vinegar and mustard.

    Bon appetite!

    Tuesday, May 29, 2007

    Tony Hall: The Gavin Slayer

    While we’re waiting on the San Francisco Progressives Convention to nominate a candidate to run against the Mayor Gavin Newsom, we thought to introduce a series called Gavin Slayers and spotlight some of the eighteen challengers who have already declared their intention to run.

    The first of which is Tony "The Tiger" Hall, an Independent candidate who ended months of speculation, Thursday, when he entered the ring and came out swinging:

    "This administration for 3 1/2 years has been a triumph of politics over
    performance and nothing else."
    Weighing in as a conservative (by San Francisco standards), the 65-year-old father of seven came to prominence when elected to City Hall Board of Supervisors in 2000. Hall sponsored legislation as the District 7 representative (Twin Peaks and St. Francis Wood) to make it illegal for people to sleep in front of businesses and to ban public urination and defecation.

    Today, Hall calls Newsom's Care Not Cash homeless welfare initiative a colossal failure and adds that if he is elected, he wants less city money spent on the homeless and would revisit some of the homeless policies he supported as a supervisor.

    "My detractors would like to say I'm a right-wing conservative, but that's not

    After Newsom took office, he appointed Hall to Treasure Island. By moving Hall off the board, Newsom was able to appoint an ally, Sean Elsbernd, to the vacant seat, and move former island director Anne Marie Conroy to head the city's emergency operations. Hall says, he was fired in retaliation for having blown the whistle on a sweetheart deal involving Newsom and the former Navy base's main developer, Darius Anderson, a big Democratic fundraiser and Newsom supporter. Hall adds that his run has nothing to do with his very public feud between him and Newsom; rather, he wants to be San Francisco's mayor because "the major problems facing the city have been ignored" under Newsom's watch.

    "I am running for mayor to solve the biggest problems facing the city, not
    because of Gavin - Gavin is a nonentity."
    Among the major problems facing San Francisco, he said, are a growing gap between rich and poor and an erosion of family values.

    For more coverage:

    Monday, May 28, 2007

    Another Free Public Event Goes KaBoom!

    According to SF Party Party, the annual firework display, KaBoom! won’t be free to spectators any longer. After 14 years as a free public event, you will need to pay 10 bucks to get on the grounds this year. Why? You guessed it. The Newsom administration has increased fees 100%.

    Even with a major corporate sponsor, KFOG, this free public event couldn’t survive the Newsom administration. Added to the endangered species list is Dolores Park Movie Night which will likely go the way of the How Weird Street Fair, Haight Street Fair, the North Beach Jazz Fest, and KaBoom!.

    However forces of fun seekers are now organizing as you read. Check out: NIMBY assault! Crackdown on nightlife and outdoor events continues, even as the backlash gains strength by SFBG Steven T. Jones and Amanda Witherell for more details.

    Can Too Left, Make it Right?

    Just because Cecilia M. Vega, Chronicle Staff Writer is too hot to date me, doesn’t mean that we shouldn’t take her seriously. Seriously, when she asks, how left can left go without leaving the building, and the voting booth?

    San Francisco Progressives will be gathering at the Tenderloin Community School to hold the largest ‘community congress’ since 1974. Supervisor Chris Daly, who represents the beautiful Tenderloin neighborhood, hopes use the Progressive Convention, June 2nd, to caucus with possible contenders ranging from Green Party member, Matt Gonzalez; Supervisor Ross Mirkarimi to former Mayor, Art Agnos to produce a platform and contender that can challenge Mayor Gavin Newsom.

    Richard DeLeon, the San Francisco State University professor who wrote a book on local progressive politics called "Left Coast City," said the movement peaked during the city's last mayoral race in 2003, when Green Party member Matt Gonzalez narrowly lost to Newsom. But the city's progressive contingent could mount a credible challenge to the mayor -- if it finds the right candidate, he said:
    "If you add up all the different potential blocs across the issues of racial and
    ethnic politics, gay politics and land use, you could have more than enough to
    mount a challenge against Newsom."

    "But the question is whether there is a candidate that can pull all the
    different groups together and come up with a coherent platform to challenge
    Newsom. Until that happens, he will probably cruise to a re-election."

    The question of who will run against Newsom has stumped progressives for months. Cecelia Vega suggests, behind the scenes, most [potential progressive candidates] are put off by the prospect of being a sacrificial lamb in a run against a popular mayor who, though disdained by some at City Hall, enjoys high approval ratings from voters.

    Click: Convention date set, but still no candidate to learn how Left of Moderate Democrat the Left can go without leaving the party.

    Sunday, May 27, 2007

    Matt Gonzalez Mulls Political Future

    As a June 2 convention looms for progressives to select a candidate to oppose Gavin Newsom in November, Matt Gonzalez was interviewed by Beyond Chron about the Mayor’s race this week by David Sloane, a Green Party member originally from Australia.


    Matt, thank you for your time. My first question, and I am sure this is everyone’s question, are you running against Newsom?

    I think I’m doing exactly what I said I would do -- beginning about 6 or 7
    months ago. I said I thought someone should run against Newsom and initiate a
    public dialogue about the failings of his Administration.
    Click here for more of the answer and the restof the interview by David Sloane.

    Mayor Admits Short Affair With Dawn

    On the lighted side of the political color wheel is Don Asmussen, the author of Chronicle comic strip - Bad Reporter. Of which, he purports “the lies behind the truth” alleging Dawn, the lost and wounded hunchback whale, has found love in the arms of Mayor Gavin Newsom.
    “We were both lost, searching. It shouldn’t have happened.”

    - Mayor Gavin Newsom
    My friends at SFist get their reputations sullied as well. So far, no Gavin sightings in the Sacramento-San Joaquin River Delta. Stay tuned, as details develop.

    Gavin and The Commissioners

    Saturday, May 26, 2007

    Tenderloin Golf Tournament

    Gavin Newsom is delighted to announce its first Golf Tournament to be held at the historic Tenderloin Golf Course. The tees, fairways and greens are undergoing election year restoration, paved with fresh asphalt and lined by sidewalks with a modern drainage system to encourage "firm and fast" conditions. Offline shots are more likely to roll into difficult spots among or behind newly planted Mexican Fan Palms. Natural waste areas, lower-level bunkers, greenside chipping areas and water hazards may also come into play more often.

    Meantime, Gavin Newsom proposed a majestic new Mediterranean Revival style courthouse. The alterations and Community Justice Center will allow for one basic tenet: a better course year round. So, print your score card and join me on the links each Sunday and chart the City's success!!!

    Meet up at th 19th hole, Original Joe's, which also doubles as the banquet hall for the award ceremony: Pimp My Shopping Cart, Closest to the Pin, Hottest Cart Girl, Best Dressed.


    Gavin hating film makers unite. The Mother Ship of Mayorial Miscues and all-around Newsom News, Gavin Watch, is hosting a bi monthly film festiva - complete with a film contest:

    What: GavinWatchFest
    When: Saturday, June 2nd, during the Progressive Convention.
    Where: Tenderloin Community School, 627 Turk Street at Van Ness (map)

    Click here all of the details and make me a masterpiece. Meantime, here are a few of my personal GavinWatch favorites:
    Of course, I'm available if anyone needs a stunt double. Good luck!

    Saturday, May 19, 2007

    Gavin Music Mix

    Happy Memorial Day! With San Francisco’s weather and political climate slowly rolling into a dead heat, photo finish of mild double-digit temperatures (high 70’s) and a wild single candidate named Gavin (low 40’s with approval ratings in the high 70's), I thought to keep cool (and Never Forget!) with a collection of tunes with song titles, band names and lyrics that chronicle the Gav's more entetaining headlines: City Hall Sex Scandal, Gav’s Girls, Mayor McChicken, Photo-Ops, Dirty Tricks, Diapergate, Boozing and generally avoiding playground bully, Dan Noyes, at all cost.

    WARNING: Gavin iMix contains EXPLICIT lyrics; yet, how else could we musically express our disdain? The starting whistle opens with ‘Young Folks’ by ‘Peter [Ragone] aka Bjorn and John [Nelson]’ and 'The Kooks' make an appearance as ‘Sofa Song’ plays on the Myspace page. Gav’s Girls Ruby, Paris Hilton and Brittany Mountz inspire 'Ruby' and ‘One Night in Paris’ and ‘Jailbait respectively. Finally, ‘Betray’ brings us to our rockin’ conclusion. Stay tuned for the eminent mix!!!

    1) Peter Bjorn and John – ‘Young Folks’ .mp3
    2) The Rakes - 'The World Was a Mess But His Hair Was Perfect’ .mp3
    3) Franz Ferdinand – ‘Walk Away’ .mp3
    4) Franz Ferdinand – ‘Cheating on You’ .mp3
    5) Kaiser Chiefs – ‘Ruby’ .mp3
    6) The Kooks – ‘Sofa Song’ .mp3
    7) Spoon – ‘I Turn My Camera On’ .mp3
    8) K.R.O. – ‘Strap On Your Pampers Diapers’ .mp3
    9) Les Claypool – ‘Robot Chicken’ .mp3
    10) Amy Winehouse – ‘Rehab’ .mp3
    11) Fuck – ‘Diapers’ .mp3
    12) Hayseed Dixie – ‘My Best friend’s Girl' .mp3
    13) 8-Bit – ‘Drunk’ .mp3
    14) Hellogoodbye – ‘Homewrecker’ .mp3
    15) Dee Dee Ramone – ‘Hop Around’ .mp3
    16) Nous Non Plus – ‘One Night In Paris’ .mp3
    17) Motorhead – ‘Jailbait’ .mp3
    18) Minor Threat – ‘Betray’ .mp3

    You can check out the the Gavin by clicking the links above or going to eSnips, iTunes iMix on iTunes or Amazon. Enjoy! This is a work in progress, so don't hesitate to let me know any songs you like to add/delete. Thanks.

    Thursday, May 10, 2007

    Conan O'Brien Snubbed by Mayor

    The official story is that Gavin Newsom was a 'no show' to NBC's Conan celebration day because he was "accidentally overbooked" and was doing an interview on SportsCenter about Barry Bonds instead.

    Rather, the reality is his feelings were hurt by Conan's jokes about him. I believe Conan's show aires five nights a week. Was our heavy-handed, bungling mayor illuminating SportCenter all five nights? Perhaps, he's found his niche delivering insightful commentary and encyclopedic knowledge on Barry Bonds.

    In any case, here's Conan's 'take' on Gavin:

    "Everyone here is so nice and welcoming. Even Mayor Gavin Newsom sent me
    flowers. When I tried to thank him, he said, 'They're for your wife.'"

    And after the snubs:

    "Everyone has been so nice to me here in San Francisco. Earlier today, Mayor Gavin Newsom invited me over for a sandwich. After that, we had lunch."

    "The San Francisco mayor's race is heating up. There are now 13 candidates running against Gavin Newsom. Mayor Newsom said, 'I'm looking forward to debating all the candidates and nailing their wives.'"
    Perhaps, Newsom was scared off, because Conan performs live? Someone in Newsom's administration should have informed him the show is 'taped' and they provide 'queue cards' too.