Which do you prefer the original fake chicken Gavin Newsom or the new crispy creator of burning man, Chicken John?
It's no yolk, folks. We've got a full-fledged cock-fight on or hands.
While we know how the other Candidates De Jure stack up versus incubant Mayor McChicken:
- The Nudist - Bigger Schlong?
- The Conservative - Bigger Cohones?
- The Homeless Guy - Nothing to lose.
We don't know much about how challenger Chicken John measures up in the tale of the tape? Except that he drives a compost-burning pickup truck and was the owner of the Odeon bar... and that we hope to see more of this colorful character.
My platform? What’s my platform, you ask? The bed of 1975 GMC pick ‘em up truck that runs on coffee grinds. Party affiliation? I like to party. Party hardy. Issues? What about the issues? We’ll get to that later. For now, I need to get on the ballot. I need your help.
Here’s how this works: You download the pdf forms FRONT AND BACK ON THE SAME PAGE.
NOTE: 2 DOWNLOADS ON 1 PIECE OF PAPER OR THEY WON’T ACCEPT IT.
Ahem. You get friends or whoever you can to sign it, follow the instructions. You yourself need to be a registered voter in San Francisco WITH A VALID VOTER THINGY WITH YOUR CORRECT ADDRESS. You get as many people to sign as possible. 10,000 signatures is a lot.
Only people who are registered voters in SF can sign. They check. You write [Chiken John] email and drop off the signatures before the 25th of July. They are due on the 26th.
Complete Article: Finally, a real chicken for mayor by Left in SF